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I should probably update this
May. 24th, 2017 07:46 pmI keep forgetting I have a dreamwidth journal now. I'd fallen out of the habit of updating LJ, but I'd like to get back into the habit of blogging every now and then. It seems like a good habit for a wannabe writer to have, and maybe good for my own self talking.
Been thinking a lot about mental health lately and how annoying my own issues are. I mean, one of the worst things for me, at least, is that it’s so variable.
Someone has a broken arm, it’s obvious: you’re in intense pain and an x-ray will clearly show what’s wrong.
But depression and anxiety? Depression is a sneaky SOB. Depression is my friend who literally couldn’t get out of bed for weeks, who had to get electro-shock therapy or whatever it is because meds weren’t working. Anxiety is my other friend who literally cannot look at test results for her grad school program without someone sitting beside her.
Me? I just feel sort of crappy on and off all day. I still function, l still eat, I still work, and I still enjoy things. I have no desire to stop living or anything like that. But in between? I just feel sort of irritated, cynical, and mopey all the time.
And then it’ll vanish for a few hours and things feel great, and I think, “gee, stupid hormones lol.”
I finally broke down and called my doctor, asking if I could go back on Lexapro. That was two weeks ago, I think? Said to visit her if I wasn't feeling better by 3-6 weeks.
I hope it works. I'm tired of not feeling normal, though, if one thing this journey has taught me, I've been dealing with anxiety and maybe this low-key depression most of my life and never figured it out until thyroid issues blew them up.
Well, that was a bit much for a first post. Oops.
Been thinking a lot about mental health lately and how annoying my own issues are. I mean, one of the worst things for me, at least, is that it’s so variable.
Someone has a broken arm, it’s obvious: you’re in intense pain and an x-ray will clearly show what’s wrong.
But depression and anxiety? Depression is a sneaky SOB. Depression is my friend who literally couldn’t get out of bed for weeks, who had to get electro-shock therapy or whatever it is because meds weren’t working. Anxiety is my other friend who literally cannot look at test results for her grad school program without someone sitting beside her.
Me? I just feel sort of crappy on and off all day. I still function, l still eat, I still work, and I still enjoy things. I have no desire to stop living or anything like that. But in between? I just feel sort of irritated, cynical, and mopey all the time.
And then it’ll vanish for a few hours and things feel great, and I think, “gee, stupid hormones lol.”
I finally broke down and called my doctor, asking if I could go back on Lexapro. That was two weeks ago, I think? Said to visit her if I wasn't feeling better by 3-6 weeks.
I hope it works. I'm tired of not feeling normal, though, if one thing this journey has taught me, I've been dealing with anxiety and maybe this low-key depression most of my life and never figured it out until thyroid issues blew them up.
Well, that was a bit much for a first post. Oops.
